On the east side of San Jose, California, there is an abuela who seems to have countless grandchildren.
“A lot of people look at me and hug me,” Maldonia Galeana, 89, said in Spanish. She said, “I don't even know them, but sometimes they ask me for blessings on the street, and I do what I can on their foreheads.''
Her likeness is depicted in paintings at the San Jose Museum of Art and on murals in the city's Mission District. But it's her online presence that has captivated thousands of people who have come across the photos and videos posted by her grandson, Yosimar Reyes.
“It really warms my heart to see your abuela smiling and having a good time,” one user wrote at a senior center with people dancing to songs by merengue singer Elvis Crespo. I commented under the video of Gareana enjoying it.
Reyes chronicles moments from her grandmother's life on her private Instagram account, which is followed by more than 21,000 people. His posts include trips to New Orleans, walks with his dog Chulito around the San Jose flea market, and his occasional doctor's appointments.
Although Reyes calls himself Galeana's “personal stylist,” he is first and foremost her caregiver, driving her to appointments, administering her medications, and caring for her. checking to see if there is a roof over their heads.
“I take pride in taking care of my grandmother and dressing her,” said Reyes, 35. “I mean she's not going to come out here wearing muumuu. She's popping her nails too, which is a big self-esteem boost for her.”
Francesca Falzarano, an assistant professor at the University of Southern California's Leonard Davis School of Gerontology, uses the term to refer to the growing number of people like Reyes who are sharing behind-the-scenes details of the everyday realities of providing around-the-clock care. have. Caring for an aging loved one.
“In my lab, we call them 'carefluencers,'” Professor Falzarano said. “Social media is the only way many people have access to support, education and a sense of belonging.”
Mr. Reyes, a poet and artist, was raised by his grandparents and moved to the United States with them from Guerrero, Mexico, in the early 1990s. “Since childhood, I was already a caregiver,” he said. “I had to translate documents and help my grandparents navigate this country because they were old and didn't speak English.”
Reyes, who was named the 2024 Santa Clara County Poet Laureate, said she has felt overwhelmed at times since taking on the full role of caring for her grandmother during the COVID-19 pandemic.
“I'm trying to build a career as an artist and a writer, but I still have to go home and take care of somebody,” Reyes said. He expresses his experience as a caregiver in the following poem: “Abuela has a fever.'' “Some days, she's emotionally drained. And if she's having a bad day, I have to make sure I don't react.'' .”
As the population ages, Reyes' experience will become more common. The number of unpaid caregivers in the United States increased from 43.5 million in 2015 to about 53 million in 2020, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Chris Pansalan of Las Vegas, who became a caregiver for his grandmother Anisia Manipong eight years ago, shares his experiences with his grandmother on YouTube, Instagram and TikTok.
“I decided to record us because I felt it was important,” said Punsalan, 30. “I gradually realized that being able to look back is not just for me, but also very helpful for people who have gone through similar situations.”
Punsalan, who has more than 2 million followers on TikTok, has been creating content such as caring for her grandmother's bedsores, making her breakfast, and sharing the products she uses to care for her grandmother's needs. Since Mr. Manipong's death in January, Mr. Manipong has realized that his social media accounts not only provide information and comfort to other family caregivers.
“At her funeral, my cousin said something that really touched my heart,” Pansalan recalled. “He said, 'Whenever I want to see her grandmother, I have a library of videos to remember her grandmother.'”
Jacqueline Revere, an aspiring television writer who lives in Los Angeles, began posting about her experiences after becoming the primary caregiver for her mother and grandmother in 2016. She said she found solace in trying to help people in her position through social media. The number of people following her on TikTok has increased to over 650,000.
“When I was posting to my mom, I didn't feel like I had to do it, it actually made me enjoy it,” said Livia, 37. It became a place of refuge for her as she searched for work. ”
Livia's grandmother passed away in 2017. Her mother passed away in 2022.
“Many of my caregiver friends are people I met on social media,” Revere said. “We've developed a really close-knit community, because if you've never been in this role, it's hard to understand the weight of this role.”
Posting a “getting ready with grandma” video on TikTok may provide a sense of solidarity for caregivers, but some viewers may feel that such content may be exploitative. Some people can't shake it off. Should a vulnerable older relative be in a position to consent to appear on a video when it is their responsibility to administer medication to the person recording the video?
“So heartbreaking,” one user commented on a TikTok video of an elderly woman struggling to eat. “We ask that you all have the dignity to stop posting these messages.”
But according to gerontologist Professor Falzarano, the benefits of caregivers sharing their experiences outweigh the risks. “This is a huge contribution to increasing awareness and visibility of chronic conditions in caregiving,” she said.
Professor Falzarano, 32, whose research focuses on dementia, family care, and technology for older people, says that while there are a variety of resources readily available for expectant parents, He also pointed out that the same can't necessarily be said for parents facing a new age. life.
“We all have the universal experience of needing or needing care at some point,” Professor Falzarano said. “Why don't you think about it now?”
Galeana, who turns 90 in December, has not been able to return to the home in Mexico he left with his grandson more than 30 years ago. With no clear path to American citizenship, the two have built something of a forever home online.
“She's older and has been through a lot, from poverty in Mexico to everything we went through in the United States,” Reyes said. “My goal now is to make sure she's happy and not always talking about how sad her life is. And people love her here and call her Abuelita. I know that. It's beautiful.”
She became a local celebrity, gaining attention at markets and receiving flowers and care packages sent to her home from strangers who met her online.
“When I was little, I wanted to be an artist. I wanted to dance and sing and be on the movie screen. But that didn't happen,” Galeana said in Spanish.
But later that week, once Ms. Reyes had her hair done and her makeup done, she was ready to be the star of a video seen by thousands.